This is Me || Facing her fear of being in front of the camera
My dear friend Trudi Skinn, of Blue Wattle Photography, wrote this about her experience with me, being in front of the camera for a change:
When was the last time you had a beautiful, professional portrait taken of yourself? For me, that event was 15 years ago! 15 years! My parents, my gran, do not have a recent, decent (ie: approved by me!) photograph of me since I was 17 years old! I’m now 32 and the “best years of my life” – my 20s – flew by largely unrecorded as I was not prepared to step in front of a camera. So I made the point of always ensuring I was behind the lens and not in front of it (That could possibly account for the reason I am now a photographer)….
Does that story ring true for anyone else?
If, like me, you realise that a whole decade of your life does not exist, even in the digital archives of your family history, get out there and do something about it!! I did.
I went to Deb Smith Photography and booked my very own photo-shoot – before I could talk myself out of it.
Then the doubts hit. I had deep and (at times painful) conversations with myself:
“I have nothing to wear. Nothing fits me anymore!”
“I don’t have enough money to spend on new clothes…”
“I’m fat. I’ll wait until I’ve lost the 15kgs I’ve put on in recent years….”
“I’ll look ridiculous!”
“There is a very good reason I always make sure I am behind the camera these days and not in front of it…..”
“I’ll call Deb and cancel. I can’t do this!!”
And then the day of the shoot arrived, and it was too late for any excuses now! ….
And it was such an Amazing Experience!
My hair and makeup were professionally styled and Deb posed me in ways that flattered my body shape and I actually started to feel beautiful again – despite the extra 15kgs, despite the old clothes (I did buy 1 new dress for the shoot) and despite the sometimes rather awkward poses I was asked to hold. I felt beautiful within my own skin, and that self- confidence, no matter how recently obtained, was inspiring and tangible.
I almost didn’t need to see the final results, because that personal belief and self-appreciation held fast in my mind while I waited for the images to be ready. That lasting buzz, finding that self-love is empowering! It is amazing how much it changes your perception of yourself and how you see others.
If you are like me (unhappy with your current body size and/or haven’t been decently photographed in forever; are always behind the family camera instead of in front of it etc) – then I urge you now! Get out
there and search for a portrait photographer whose style and value you admire and get your own portrait taken now. Not just your kids, or your family – you. Yourself. Gift yourself this experience – enjoy it, indulge
in it and once you’re done, then bring in your kids/partner at the end for that beautiful family shot if you need
Don’t wait for that mythical “one day” to arrive before you experience this for yourself. Do it now. This week. This month. This year! (Get it done before Christmas and viola – presents you can share with your family!)